September

Hello to all my loyal subjects. I meant to sent this out yesterday, but I was busy at my "job". What a crock. They obviously don't get that I have better things to do. Anyway, I just thought you should all know that we have reached a very special time in the calendar. A time for love, joy, and celebration. What is this you may be asking yourself (probably b/c I haven't told you yet). The beginning of Fall? No. Start of football? Special, but not as special as this. The time of year where that weird rash starts to come back? Well that's personal a-holes. (What a bunch of creeps you all are.) No, I am talking about the month of September aka MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!!! That's right, I celebrate the whole month of my birthday because I am that awesome. You should too if you are lucky enough to know me. For those of you who don't know me intimately (yet), a little back story…

In the year of our Lord 1984, a babe (me) was born into the world to a set of loving parents on September 22nd. It seemed like any other new beginning for the circle of life. Little did anyone know, this chubby child would go onto untold greatness (soon I hope). The child grew strong, and fine, and still kinda chubby. After a childhood of wonders and constant teasing (fat kid with braces and a touch of acne), the wild-eyed youngster grew into the man you know and love today. Yeah, there were some more details I could have given, but that would take time and energy. Plus, I think the mysteriousness is a great part of my aura. Anyway, for all of you looking for a reason to live it up on a random Tuesday in the middle of September, just remember that yours truly will be doing it on general principal. Do you really need any other reason? So don't be so boring all the time. Get out there and rock out. As a great man once said, Don't ask "Why?", ask "Why not?".

I will be accepting gifts in the form of cash, Natural Light, and commemorative Elvis plates. Thank you in advance. I trust that you will all give generously.

Sincerely - His Holiness, Clint Miller