Hello again to all of you out there in cyberspace. Welcome to the next edition of Clint's Corner. Today, because the dawn of the college football season is upon us, I want to talk a little bit about how lucky the people in college (especially at my Alma-Mater) have it these days when it comes to football. Then we'll delve a little bit into why I think college students may be some of the dumbest people in America. So here goes…
When I say that today's college students have it great as far as football goes, I will focus mainly on The University of Alabama, because lets face it, what other team matters? (Rhetorical question…the answer is none.) The kids today are basking in the glow of two straight undefeated regular seasons, two trips to the SEC title game, one National Championship, and hopefully another successful run this year. People my age got beat by Captain Earlobe and his stupid fingers every year. (I know La Monroe was bad, but losing to Northern Illinois isn't exactly respectable.) They get Nick Saban (Awesome!) on the sideline, we got Mike Shula (pathetic). They have Greg McElroy, a guy who has never lost a game as a starter. We got Brodie Croyle who could never finish a game as a starter. When he got hurt (always), we got Spencer Pennington and a host of other travesties in the game's most important position. I'm not bitter (lie), I just hope that the students appreciate the sadness that we who came before them had to endure, which finally convinced Mal Moore to fire Mike Shula's retarded a$$ and get Nick Saban to save our beloved Tide.
Now on to why I think college students are some of the dumbest people ever. This doesn't refer to the alcoholic freshmen or the 4th year sophomores out there. No, this regards all the juniors and seniors who utter this phrase "I can't wait to get out of college." I know, I did it too. You think you'll get it all…freedom, money, weekends with no homework. Well let me tell you something about the "real world" you can't wait to be a part of, IT SUCKS! You know what comes with your diploma, responsibility. No more suckling at the tit of your parents for rent/groceries/Keystone Light money. Nope, what you really get is a ton of bills, bosses that treat you like garbage, and the crushing realization that this is what you begged for. So enjoy it morons. And don't say I didn't warn you.
That's all for today folks. Be sure to tune in next week, same bat-time, same bat-channel.
His Holiness, Clint Miller
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Traffic and Electricity
Hello to everyone on the internet. This will be the first in a series of postings regarding politics, faith, athletics, and all the other stuff that people love to argue about. These are just my thoughts and feelings on the subjects, so if you don't like them, please feel free to tell someone who cares what you think. (Just FYI, that ain't me.) So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
First on the hit list…traffic. Living and working in Birmingham, I have to deal with the huddled masses on the interstate twice a day. To all of you who have to deal with the low-bred jacka$$es on I65, Hwy 280, I459, etc, Lord have mercy on you all. If you are one of the low-bred jacka$$es I referred to, please either learn how to drive, take a different route to/from work than me, or kill yourself. Those are the only options I see that can solve our issues. If you have another suggestion, please see disclaimer at the top of the page.
Next up…the Power Company. The price gouging on electricity is beyond absurd. I have found since I bought my home that apparently during the Summer (which in Alabama seems to last about 6 months), you have two options. 1. Don't turn on the air conditioner and live in a virtual sauna, sweating like a pig while sitting in your living room or 2. You can run the air conditioner to make your place livable, and at the end of the month decide if you want to pay the power bill or eat that week. I know the power company is basically a monopoly, but isn't the government supposed to prevent such things.
Ahhh…the government. I'd love to get into that a little bit, but my boss has been standing at my desk for the last 5 minutes. By the nice shade of red he is turning, I'm thinking the next time I say "Shhh, I'm busy", may be my last act as an employed member of society. Maybe next time. So until then, I leave you all with this soon-to-be-famous quote from a soon-to-be-famous author.
"I'm awesome!"
His Holiness, Clint Miller
First on the hit list…traffic. Living and working in Birmingham, I have to deal with the huddled masses on the interstate twice a day. To all of you who have to deal with the low-bred jacka$$es on I65, Hwy 280, I459, etc, Lord have mercy on you all. If you are one of the low-bred jacka$$es I referred to, please either learn how to drive, take a different route to/from work than me, or kill yourself. Those are the only options I see that can solve our issues. If you have another suggestion, please see disclaimer at the top of the page.
Next up…the Power Company. The price gouging on electricity is beyond absurd. I have found since I bought my home that apparently during the Summer (which in Alabama seems to last about 6 months), you have two options. 1. Don't turn on the air conditioner and live in a virtual sauna, sweating like a pig while sitting in your living room or 2. You can run the air conditioner to make your place livable, and at the end of the month decide if you want to pay the power bill or eat that week. I know the power company is basically a monopoly, but isn't the government supposed to prevent such things.
Ahhh…the government. I'd love to get into that a little bit, but my boss has been standing at my desk for the last 5 minutes. By the nice shade of red he is turning, I'm thinking the next time I say "Shhh, I'm busy", may be my last act as an employed member of society. Maybe next time. So until then, I leave you all with this soon-to-be-famous quote from a soon-to-be-famous author.
"I'm awesome!"
His Holiness, Clint Miller
His Holiness
How it all started:
Thinking about weddings, I was thinking about cool wedding stuff I'd seen on tv/movies/internet. That's how I came up with the Armadillo cake doncha know. I thought about the Hangover with the powder blue tuxes, people getting married by Elvis impersonators, the Fresh Prince getting married by Isaac Hayes as Shaft. Then I was thinking about Friends and the Monica/Chandler wedding (you know Monica would be pissed if she didn't get first billing) and how Joey was ordained and married them dressed as a WWI soldier. I thought it would be cool if I could do that. I could marry Robby & Stephanie, Lance & Amanda, Matt & whatever chick he falls in love with/knocks up first. Long story short, I asked you what J.D. (<---name of the minister marrying us) should be called i.e. Pastor, Reverend, etc . I want to be called "His Holiness." All the great ones get called this…the Pope, the Dahli Lama. As far as I know, there aren't any Baptists that go by that moniker. If you can't tell, I'm not going to get much done today.
Editor's Note: Clint originally sent this to his fiancee, Beth, who sent it to all her friends for entertainment. The response was so astounding, Clint decided to make weekly contributions - which leads us to the blog and the following addition:
Just so you all know…I am going to take Sarah's advice about letting her know my other ideas and running with it on a global scale. I think everyone can benefit from what I have to offer. Not just from a minister stand point, but about the world as a whole. I will be starting a blog called Clint's Corner. Beth suggested an editorial for a newspaper, but I believe I'm too real for the mainstream media. I have absolutely no idea how to start/update/read a blog, so to do this I may need your help. Candace, I'm pretty sure you know how to do this. I hope you all will join or follow or whatever people do to a blog. It will be free for the first month and $9.99 for each additional month.
P.S. Cash only.
Thinking about weddings, I was thinking about cool wedding stuff I'd seen on tv/movies/internet. That's how I came up with the Armadillo cake doncha know. I thought about the Hangover with the powder blue tuxes, people getting married by Elvis impersonators, the Fresh Prince getting married by Isaac Hayes as Shaft. Then I was thinking about Friends and the Monica/Chandler wedding (you know Monica would be pissed if she didn't get first billing) and how Joey was ordained and married them dressed as a WWI soldier. I thought it would be cool if I could do that. I could marry Robby & Stephanie, Lance & Amanda, Matt & whatever chick he falls in love with/knocks up first. Long story short, I asked you what J.D. (<---name of the minister marrying us) should be called i.e. Pastor, Reverend, etc . I want to be called "His Holiness." All the great ones get called this…the Pope, the Dahli Lama. As far as I know, there aren't any Baptists that go by that moniker. If you can't tell, I'm not going to get much done today.
Editor's Note: Clint originally sent this to his fiancee, Beth, who sent it to all her friends for entertainment. The response was so astounding, Clint decided to make weekly contributions - which leads us to the blog and the following addition:
Just so you all know…I am going to take Sarah's advice about letting her know my other ideas and running with it on a global scale. I think everyone can benefit from what I have to offer. Not just from a minister stand point, but about the world as a whole. I will be starting a blog called Clint's Corner. Beth suggested an editorial for a newspaper, but I believe I'm too real for the mainstream media. I have absolutely no idea how to start/update/read a blog, so to do this I may need your help. Candace, I'm pretty sure you know how to do this. I hope you all will join or follow or whatever people do to a blog. It will be free for the first month and $9.99 for each additional month.
P.S. Cash only.
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