It's Almost Official!!!

Yes, It's that time again ladies and gentlemen.  I hope you are all doing well today.  And if not, sorry.  But, I hope the knowledge that I am doing awesome will help to console you.  Anyway, as most of you know, I am a pretty big football fan and we just had national signing day.  The day where so many people fall all over a bunch of 17 and 18 year olds praying that the best ones will pick their favorite team to play for.  I do it too, even though I know its despicable.  Anyway, I had someone ask me if I was going to give my thoughts on NSD in my next article.  Although I do think it is important, something else has been weighing heavily on my mind lately.  And I feel that I have to get it out there to the public. 

To tell this story, we need to backtrack a little bit.  This whole website started when I decided I wanted to become ordained as a minister.  It was taken as a joke by some, and that's OK.  I can understand the humor in the idea of me becoming a man of the cloth.  I, on the other hand, still have the burning desire deep down in my pants to become a great leader of men.  So I have endured the snickers and comments from those blind few who didn't take me seriously.  Well to those people I have only two things to say.  BOOM!!! and more importantly YOU CAN ALL SUCK ON BOBO!!!  That's right all you haters.  The day you hoped would never arrive has.  If you will see the link below, it will lead you to the site where I will legally become "His Holiness".  If that ain't bitchin, I don't know what is. 

http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination

Now, that being the case, I just want you to all know that as soon as I am official, I will be open to service all your religious needs.  I am going to be doing weddings, Christenings, funerals, confessions, circumcisions, etc.  As a matter of fact, I have already pestered a couple friends of mine to the point where they agreed to let me officiate their wedding ceremony.  You know who you are and don't think for a second that I've forgotten.  To be honest, it was a lot easier to convince the guy that I would be a good candidate.  And I don't think the fact he was drunk had anything to do with it.  I think he just recognizes the seriousness and professionalism I would bring to the table.  Also wine.  I will always bring wine to the table.

*Side Question: I'm thinking that when doing a circumcision, it would be better to bring the wine to the table before the ceremony rather than after.  You know, kinda loosen everybody up.  I mean let's face it, cutting off part of a baby's ding-a-ling could be an awkward time.  Thoughts?*

Well I guess that's all for today.  I'm sure the magnitude of this announcement is enough for you to try to process right now.  So in conclusion, please remember me for any religious needs you or any family or friends may be having in the future.  Still taking payments in cash, Natural light, and commemorative plates.  And again, thank you to all of you who have pledged your support and undying allegiance during this process.  As for the rest of you, well, you already know what you can do. 

His Holiness out.